A Modest Solution to Cancel Culture

Another day, another celebrity has been reputationally guillotined. This time it is Sia, an undoubtedly brilliant, even genius, musician whose voice produces, at least in me, shivers of transcendence. What is her crime? To portray an autistic character with a non-autistic actor. My god! How awful! That our art should not be a 1–1 representation of reality is truly a crime unspeakably heinous, one that shall surely be notched onto the annals of history right next to Mussolini and Hitler.

It would seem there is only one solution to Cancel Culture. All our representations should be of Pure Platonic Forms, perfect, eternal, unchanging images. No more to human representations, and instead only pure glittering, splendiferous images of LOVE, TRUTH, BEAUTY. I know what you’re thinking. Where will the action come from? This is indeed a good question because as you know, the Forms do not change, that is their essence, and movement is in fact a kind of imperfection. Well my friend, do not worry — the contemplation of the Forms brings more delight, more joy, more everything, than that age-old tradition of human representation.

Forget the natural instinct to see stories of ourselves portrayed, forget the cathartic and imaginative potential of plays and novels to release people from suffering, and to bring the mind to the contemplation of beauty. Forget everything in fact. Humanity is at pains to destroy everything for the sake of academic criticism, to destroy the reputations of the great among us because of differences of opinion. We must start again, from nothing. And this time we will begin with perfection, so as to avoid criticism.

But what about sex scenes? Ah, have no fear my friend. Sex is inherently oppressive to women, and hence should be abolished. Instead we shall contemplate the Forms of LOVE and GENERATION, and by doing so, titillate the mind.

Therefore I hope my proposal will, (in fact by necessity it should) appeal to the clamouring masses for moral perfection. And after we have contemplated the Forms long enough, may we all evaporate into the ether as pure forms of consciousness uninhibited by fragile, mortal life.

Or maybe, just maybe, we should shun the idiots in our society, and admire and appreciate the good in people.

But until then, let us sup on the divine, my friend.

Writer, poet, philosopher