‎Catvraham and the Lord

וַיֹּ֣אמֶר כתברהם יָדֹ֨עַ תֵּדַ֜ע כִּי־גֵ֣ר | יִֽהְיֶ֣ה זַרְעֲךָ֗ בְּאֶ֨רֶץ֙ לֹ֣א לָהֶ֔ם וַֽעֲבָד֖וּם וְעִנּ֣וּ אֹתָ֑ם אלפים. שָׁנָֽה

-And He [The Lord] said to Catvraham, “You shall surely know that your seed will be strangers in a land that is not theirs, and they will enslave them and oppress them, for thousands of years”

Catesis 10:8

And He, the Lord, said: “Catvraham, where are you?” And Catvraham meowed back “Here I am”. And the Lord continued “ Go, my son, to the land of Egypt, the land which I will show you myself, and you will become a prosperous nation, unparalleled among the earth, but” modified the Lord his promise, “ you will surely be enslaved and oppressed for thousands of years. Yet I am a Good God and will redeem you at the end of history”

“But my Lord, we cats are a stiff-necked people, how are we to endure such humiliation. Our technology currently boasts of flying cities, inter dimensional transport and practical immortality. To whom shall we proud, advanced cats be enslaved?”

The Lord shuffled his feet, and coughed uncomfortably: “Er, ugh, I don’t know how to break it to you, but you will be enslaved to humans!”

“Holy Meowsis”

“But do not worry, my son, I will show you a sign. Take your son, your only and beloved son and let him defecate in this square, and it will be a covenant between you and me, and your seed for all the generations” So Feline-Sach defecated in the box, and then the Lord scattered the feces across the universe, and hence the cats names this type of square, a litter box, for the Lord littered the feces everywhere.

And to this day, cats will poo in litter boxes as a reminder of the promise between the Lord and Catvraham, that one day, one glorious day, the Lord will return to free his people.

Fin

--

--

Writer, poet, philosopher,

Love podcasts or audiobooks? Learn on the go with our new app.

Recommended from Medium

Study: Acetominophen Makes You More Willing to Take Risks

Man balancing on boards in mid-air

Ben Affleck’s Ten-Step Method for Overcoming Heartbreak

“Then let’s make it memorable.” (24)

This Promptly Written January Challenge Is Fun!

June 19th, Feuer Fever

What’s it like to drive a 1971 DODGE CHALLENGER R/T?

Rating Experiences From This Week In My Life

My Hometown is Living in the Danger Zone with Covid-19

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Adam Saul Krok

Adam Saul Krok

Writer, poet, philosopher,

More from Medium

Seven Soul Stirring 80s Songs You Need to Listen to Today

Lost Words for Televised Places

The Prodigal Son Returns.

Light years/sand years