‎Catvraham and the Lord

וַיֹּ֣אמֶר כתברהם יָדֹ֨עַ תֵּדַ֜ע כִּי־גֵ֣ר | יִֽהְיֶ֣ה זַרְעֲךָ֗ בְּאֶ֨רֶץ֙ לֹ֣א לָהֶ֔ם וַֽעֲבָד֖וּם וְעִנּ֣וּ אֹתָ֑ם אלפים. שָׁנָֽה

-And He [The Lord] said to Catvraham, “You shall surely know that your seed will be strangers in a land that is not theirs, and they will enslave them and oppress them, for thousands of years”

Catesis 10:8

And He, the Lord, said: “Catvraham, where are you?” And Catvraham meowed back “Here I am”. And the Lord continued “ Go, my son, to the land of Egypt, the land which I will show you myself, and you will become a prosperous nation, unparalleled among the earth, but” modified the Lord his promise, “ you will surely be enslaved and oppressed for thousands of years. Yet I am a Good God and will redeem you at the end of history”

“But my Lord, we cats are a stiff-necked people, how are we to endure such humiliation. Our technology currently boasts of flying cities, inter dimensional transport and practical immortality. To whom shall we proud, advanced cats be enslaved?”

The Lord shuffled his feet, and coughed uncomfortably: “Er, ugh, I don’t know how to break it to you, but you will be enslaved to humans!”

“Holy Meowsis”

“But do not worry, my son, I will show you a sign. Take your son, your only and beloved son and let him defecate in this square, and it will be a covenant between you and me, and your seed for all the generations” So Feline-Sach defecated in the box, and then the Lord scattered the feces across the universe, and hence the cats names this type of square, a litter box, for the Lord littered the feces everywhere.

And to this day, cats will poo in litter boxes as a reminder of the promise between the Lord and Catvraham, that one day, one glorious day, the Lord will return to free his people.




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