Adam goes to the gym
“Okay, whoow, this will be easy.” Adam climbed onto the exercise bike, and started pedalling. “Push it, push it. Now pull it back, pull it back quickly.” Adam noticed an attractive blonde walking towards him, “ Adam pedal to the metal, you bastard here she comes. Look strong, look fierce. Flex those legs boy.”
“Um, excuse me, how much longer are you going to be?” The blonde asked impatiently, clearly irritated that the world did not bow down to her and her beauty.
“Ah, hit and miss Adam.”
“ I just started. Will be a while”
The blonde walked away before Adam finished.
“ Whoow, keep pushing, keep pushing. I can’t do this anymore, I can’t. No you can. Just stay alive, just keep breathing. One more, one more, just one more.” It seemed that after every last push, there appeared another last push on the horizon of physical pain.
“ You’re cycling away from the Vietcong,”in times of distress Adam imagined scenarios of war to motivate himself, “ base camp is under attack, and you’re the only survivor. The embassy is a few miles away — if you don’t use all your energy now, you’ll never make it home to Lucy and the kids.”
“You’re Che on the battlefield. The CIA has surrounded you in Bolivia. No escape. The only option is to die in a blaze of bullets and lead. Push your way to the front of the battlefield and accept the lion’s death you wanted.”
“ D-Day, 1944. The Nazis are bombarding the beaches of Normandy as you crawl your way among the corpses of your fallen comrades. Push to the beachfront, avoid the mortars goddamnit.”
Adam had tired himself out. That was enough of the exercise bike. Now onto the weights.
“Hm what should I work out? Legs? No ways. No one will notice anyway. And if she notices your legs before you get into bed, you’ve made some mistake.
Arms and shoulders? Yeah, let’s get that buff look.
Adam walked over to the dumbbells and picked up two weights measuring 15kg each.
“One, two, three,…four, five… do I really need to do ten… six… okay just do eight…seven…eight…now that you’re here might as well do ten… nine…ahh..ten”
Adam dropped the weights to the floor. He was absolutely exhausted, and strained. But the adrenaline started pumping through his veins.
He took one look at himself in the mirror, and he was enamoured. Damn Adam, is that you? Well hello there handsome, how are you doing?
He flexed, and blew himself an imaginary kiss.
“Fuck has my shirt been on backwards this whole time?” Adam left in a hurry this morning.
Yes, was the answer.