Adam Saul Krok
2 min readDec 16, 2021


What is the essence of Romance?

Let me first begin by stating that I’m no expert in romance, if such a thing existed. I’m just a guy with a large and sentimental heart. I love to explore everything and romance in particular appeals to me because, as we will learn together, it concerns a certain mystical understanding of the opposite sex.

I will state this simple truth: Romance is the consideration of the thought and desired behavior of the opposite sex. Let’s investigate this further. Men and women think differently when it comes to romantic aspirations. Men want to feel strong, while women want to feel beautiful. That is a generalization which tends to hold true.

As an example we have the notion of chivalry. Men will open a door for a woman because it achieves two things. First the man feels powerful that he is the active agent. Second the woman feels beautiful because she is the object of attention and action, ie the passive agent.

Now not all women want this. But then again not all women are romantic. I have the laughable moment at Yale University when I offered to push a button on the elevator for a woman. She scoffed at me and said bluntly that she could do it herself. What is happening here? Well first, this isn’t even a moment of being romantic on my end but friendly, so strike one against this nasty woman. But second clearly this woman viewed my actions in the context of power dynamics and the long history of feminist theorizing behind it. This leads us to a very important point about third-wave feminism and romance in general which is that these two are diametrically opposed.

Why? Because if you are viewing the world according to power dynamics you fundamentally destroy the very basis of feminine romance, namely being the object of affection as opposed to the active agent which is masculine in nature.

Let us investigate more desired behaviors of men and women. We must, however, keep in mind another general principle. Men and women are contradictory: men want to be treated like loyal kings and promiscuous players. Women want to be treated as special queens and promiscuous playthings. This is the spiritual physical divide.

Therefore men, when you approach a woman you must make her feel like the most special woman in the world, the most desired possession. Women you must treat your man as the most powerful, important person in the world.

So in short conclusion, Men equal power and activity women equal beauty and passivity. And of course, modern feminism equals death of romance.